Encouragement is inspiring someone to continue on a chosen course, primarily by imparting confidence to embolden and support them. As it sounds phonetically you are to inject courage. Discouragement is defined by the dictionary as depriving of confidence, hope or spirit, as well as hindering or hampering. The two words are literally the opposite sides of confidence. In the June 2006 version of the blog we discussed your confidence from the perspective of you gaining that assurance regarding facts and beliefs. This discussion is how you affect the confidence of others by being encouraging or discouraging. It is wise to intentionally be encouraging. Your effect is greater on those that you are close to (see the September 2007 blog on relationships). My wife, as my closest human relationship, is extremely encouraging with words and actions. My father, on the other hand was quite critical and discouraging as I grew up. That may be why my initial reaction to situations is to find what's wrong.My 23+ years (so far) in Toastmasters has taught me quite a bit about evaluation. After each presentation in the club, someone is assigned to provide feedback for the purpose of improvement. It is purposely called an evaluation rather than a critique because it is designed to build up rather than tear down. Speaking requires confidence, so pointing out what can be changed to make a speech better requires skill to avoid discouragement. What I've learned is that encouragement does not mean that you are only full of praise and ignoring those areas that are not praiseworthy. Encouragement then, is finding ways or words to convey that you believe in someone even when they are not perfect, rather than only noticing when they are perfect, or focusing on any imperfection for all those times they are not.
For decades I thought I should point out areas that needed improvement in others for their own good. When projects or programs were proposed I was quick to identify and communicate the flaws and risks with the design. God apparently gave me this intellect to assist all around me at noticing what needed to be changed. I could tell they were unaware of their many flaws because they still had them. Then I read Matthew 7:5 where Jesus said "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye". While I was working on that log I read Hebrews 3:13 that says: But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today"... 1st Thessalonians states in chapter 5 verses 9-11: For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us that whether we are awake or asleep we may live together with Him. Therefore, encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
That's a lot to absorb but it became apparent that my recognition of problems and flaws was not a gift but a curse, unless I changed how I addressed those problems and flaws. More Bible study revealed Romans 14:13: Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this- not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way. Then in 15:4 it says "For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope". The Scriptures provide encouragement, which we know is imparting confidence to continue on a chosen course. We are also to provide encouragement to each other day after day, meaning we'll need encouragement day after day. We are each a supporter or a stumbling block. This is true day by day and moment by moment. Even when in pain, in a bad mood, or focused on a task at hand, we are to be encouraging. If in doubt as to where to start, use scriptures.
Encouragement takes time as well as effort. In the same way we previously mentioned relationships the level of encouragement should be at a similar level as the relationship. I should be more encouraging to my children than the pro sports player I met once or twice. In business encouragement is also very important. Sincere compliments never get old or tiresome, and actually add impact to those times that you have to explain how one's strengths can be used to address and overcome a weakness. For some reason I thought if I admired a quality in a subordinate, I couldn't suggest ways they could improve performance in that area so I withheld encouragement, many times at a crucial moment when encouragement was needed. Actually it's the opposite. Providing that encouragement (infusing the courage) is what's needed when things seem to be going wrong.
Therefore, it is desirable to encourage those around you, and an intentional plan may be needed if you're like me. As mentioned before, my wife has encouragement as a gift and our children inherited what they have from her. Many stories are available in books or articles about teachers or coaches that impacted someone's life by believing in them and encouraging them. http://www.godswork.org/enccontents.htm is an on-line source for inspirational encouragement. The point is we should be more encouraging. Like the old saying that you can't be too rich or too thin, you can't be too encouraging. Your next opportunity may be adding comments with the link below:
